A life we would enjoy
“When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you” –Hunter S. Thompson
Without goals, we are never going to get anywhere. Success is all about setting goals and working hard towards them. All of our goals should be reachable and measurable, and once we have set the course, the rest is mere willpower. These are the kind of things we can find almost anywhere on the internet if we dare to google the words: goals or success. Plus, someone promising the key to happiness and success, without taking into account that we probably want to open different doors.
The good thing about such an abundance of motivational content, and so many people talking about success and goals is that from time to time you can stomp into something interesting. Although not exactly in one of those motivational blog posts with names such as The Hidden Key to Success or How to stop being a miserable loser in 10 days. No, it was in Maria Popova’s blog, The Marginalian, in a post with a somewhat long title that included the terms purpose and meaningful life, like many other blog posts online, maybe, only this one was THE Marginalian.
Popova, with her super ability to bring some remarkable thinker, writer, or artist to the conversation, was writing this time about someone called Hunter S. Thompson, a North American journalist known among other things as the founder of the Gonzo movement. He wrote a book about the Hells Angels bikers and another one that would later turn into the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, starring Johnny Deep and Benicio del Toro.
It probably doesn’t matter much now whether you knew who Hunter S. Thompson was or not, I didn’t. What’s important is what he wrote to his friend Hume Logan in 1958, in one of the letters included in Shaun Usher’s Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience
Hunter starts by saying that every important decision, at its core, is about whether to float with the tide or to swim for a goal. However, whenever we decide to swim, we ought to keep in mind that it is always possible we change along the way.
As children, for example, many people I know used to dream about becoming soccer players, singers, astronauts, firemen, etc. And although one could say that the mist around those dreams goes away with the years and we get to see their impossible or improbable nature; there are some other dreams and aspirations that we give up even though they were within reach, and that, according to Thompson, is because we simply change.
“Every person is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different person, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.
So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day?” –Hunter S. Thompson
Change is inevitable, as it is impossible not to experience things while living. Experiences are the basic units of which life is made. To shape our life based on our goals doesn’t seem to be the best strategy when the way we see such goals is constantly changing due to our experiences. But, if it is foolish to conform the individual to her goals, what’s the alternative Thompson proposes?
“The formula runs something like this: a person must choose a path which will let her ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of her DESIRES. In doing this, she is fulfilling a need (giving herself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal) she avoids frustrating her potential (choosing a path that puts no limit on her self-development), and she avoids the terror of seeing her goal wilt or lose its charm as she draws closer to it (rather than bending herself to meet the demands of that which she seeks, she has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).
In short, she has not dedicated her life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but she has rather chosen a way of life she KNOWS she will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important.” –Hunter S. Thompson
A life we know we will enjoy, that’s what we should strive for, according to Thompson, instead of pursuing some goal that may be perceived differently tomorrow.
Seeing it this way would also be useful when you’re not sure about what your next step should be. Like when you’re surrounded by people who claim with absolute certainty that they want to do this or that with their life, while you are struggling to decide what you’re having for lunch that day (let alone what to see on Netflix). But it could also be useful when from a very young age you were convinced about what you wanted to become, but things didn’t turn out as expected and now you find yourself, perhaps for the first time, not knowing what to do next.
If you take the time to reflect on the kind of life you want, then you can think about what you need to get it, or at least get closer to it. What can I do today to make my life more like I want it to be? Maybe not tomorrow, or before the end of the year. But if I start now, I’ll soon be in a better place than I am at this moment.
It could be that following a goal or a model is just easier than reflecting on the kind of life we want to have and then determining what we have to do to get it. But the thing is that whenever anyone says something like “I want to start a company or earn a lot of money, or travel around the world” they normally have just a shallow idea of what that is, based on what they have seen on social media, for example (not the best of the sources BTW). But once they start to pursue that, they realize that perhaps the things such goals require are not compatible with the life they actually want to have and then, even if they reach their goal, they’ll most likely feel unsatisfied. Which in the surface may seem contradictory, but it is actually not.
I’m not saying starting companies, earning money, or traveling are inherently bad things, the problem is that many times we throw ourselves to chase such goals imitating others without knowing or (worse) aware of the fact that the life we’ll need to have to achieve them, won’t make us feel good about ourselves. That’s why we need to reflect on our values and limits before we go around chasing goals like frenzy chickens in the middle of a hurricane. After all, you don’t get on the first plane you see at the airport without knowing its destination, the price of the ticket or whether or not there are any stops, etc.
We may not completely agree with Thompson’s words, but we should at least take a moment to think about them. It could be that pursuing a premeditated goal isn’t the best idea and that we should better determine what kind of life we would enjoy. And if it is so, then we should begin by asking ourselves: What would I like a regular day in my life to be? With whom? Doing what? and mostly, What am I willing to do to make my life the way I want it to be?
Breyner Jimenez-Noya is a bilingual educator from Colombia who writes about work, learning, and how to not suck at living. He writes an occasional newsletter called Mentalmente (SPA), teaches a class on Reading Better (ENG) on Skillshare, and runs the local Silent Book Club in his city.
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